Are you raising a future husband? How about a future wife? Here is a truth many parents fail to realize. Preparing your child for marriage is part of your responsibility as a parent. We do our best to prepare our children for life in so many different ways. However, I think this is one area that too often gets overlooked. In this article, I am going to breakdown five simple ways to help you prepare your child for future marriage.
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1. Understanding Your Child’s Personality and Strengths
Your child is a unique individual just like anyone else. Consequently, they have personality traits and strengths that are unique to them. All three of my boys are so smart, interesting and funny, but they also have vast differences that make them each special. Understanding your child’s personality and strengths can prepare them for marriage by helping them develop a sense of self-awareness and self-confidence. Essentially, you are helping them know who they are so they will not need to seek validation from others. By knowing their strengths, they can choose a partner who complements them and shares their values. Furthermore, understanding their personality will allow you to help them recognize potential areas of conflict and teach them how to communicate effectively with their future partner.
2. Encouraging Spiritual Growth and Intimacy with God
Aside from developing their personality, it is just as important to build up their relationship with God. You must teach your child to know God and talk to Him regularly in prayer. Strengthening their intimacy with God will teach your child to trust Him. Why is that important for preparing your child for marriage? The concept of marriage was first introduced by God. Therefore, the most successful way to be married is God’s way. If your child does not trust God, they will not trust that the parameters and guidelines He put into place for marriage are there for our good. With a clear understanding of God’s design for marriage, your child will seek to please Him in their role as a husband or a wife.
Secondly, if your child has developed a strong relationship with God, they will seek His guidance when challenges and conflicts arise. As a result, your child will be less likely to give up on their marriage when things get tough. When they feel lost or need direction, they will call upon the Lord to lead them by the Holy Spirit. They will feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit whenever they get off-track. Lastly, your child will develop a strong desire to remain faithful in their marriage when they have built a strong, intimate relationship with the Lord.
3. Fostering healthy Relationships and Communication Skills
Preparing your child for marriage in the area of relationships and communication begins with respect. Teaching your child to respect the ideas and opinions of others, even when they disagree, is important. They should be able to express themselves effectively and openly while also being an active listener who seeks to understand. In our household, we often use dinner time to allow each family member to tell the rest of the family about their day. When we do this, no one is talking over another person and we all listen actively to one another.
Fostering healthy relationships can also help your child learn how to set boundaries, resolve conflicts, and work together as a team. All of which are important for a strong and lasting marriage. By learning to navigate different types of relationships, they can develop the skills and emotional intelligence necessary to handle the challenges that may arise in their future marriage.
4. Teaching Financial Responsibility
As I mentioned in my article on finance habits, finance is often cited as the second leading cause of divorce. Therefore, it is essential that you prepare your child for marriage by helping them to develop the skills and habits necessary to manage money effectively. My husband and I have utilized “piggy banks” to teach our children financial responsibility. Here is the exact one we got for our 7 year old son.
We plan to teach them the value of money by paying them for chores. This will reinforce that money is earned. By learning about budgeting, saving, and investing, your child can build a strong financial foundation to weather the ups and downs of life.
Financial responsibility can also help your child to develop a sense of accountability and responsibility, which is necessary for a successful marriage. They can learn how to make sound financial decisions, set and achieve financial goals, and prioritize their spending.
Furthermore, teaching financial responsibility can help your child to understand the importance of financial transparency and teamwork in a marriage. They can learn how to communicate openly about financial matters, work together to achieve common financial goals, and avoid common financial pitfalls that can cause tension in a marriage.
5. Preparing Your Child for Marriage and Supporting Them in Finding the Right Partner
It is critical that your child understands that who they marry is important. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns us not to be unequally yoke with unbelievers. This is the number one thing that I hope to instill in my boys when it comes to marriage. This one principle will save them a lot of headache and heartache. If you are a Christian, your child should be encouraged to marry someone who shares their Christian values. Your child’s ability to find and marry someone who shares their values will ultimately determine the success of their marriage.
If you want to be able to support your child in finding the right partner, you must maintain a relationship with them that is respectful and built on trust early on. When they introduce a potential partner to you, they will take your opinions to heart. When you suggest someone as a good spouse for them, they will strongly consider that person for marriage. However, building that respectful, trusting relationship with your child also means trusting that you have raised a smart, capable man or woman.
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Be blessed mama!
