Do you remember when you fell in love with your husband? At what moment did you realize that it was love? Has your love in marriage changed? If your story is anything like mine, your love grew out of a genuine friendship. I sincerely enjoyed spending time with my man and hated when we had to be apart. This was my first indication I wanted to spend forever with him. We rarely, if ever, argued or even had a serious disagreement. He made me laugh and treated me like a queen…EVERYDAY! However, when I put my feelings aside and observed his character, his nature, that is when real love was born.
Love in Marriage
Love is often associated with strong emotions and feelings that sweep us off our feet. While those initial feelings are undoubtedly important, true love in marriage transcends mere emotions. It goes beyond the fleeting butterflies and evolves into something deeper and more profound. The Bible defines love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. These verses describe with such clarity what love is and what it is not. By this definition, is your marriage loving? When you replace “love” and “it” with your name, are you loving? In this blog post, we explore the idea that love in marriage is more than a feeling, emphasizing how marriage is a covenant that remains constant despite the changing nature of individuals.
“Love endures with patience and serenity. Love is kind and thoughtful and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].” -1 Corinthians 13 4-8 AMP
You Chose to Love
Marriage requires a conscious decision to love, even when the initial excitement fades. Feelings fluctuate, and they cannot be solely relied upon to sustain a lifelong commitment. Actually, as a “rule of thumb” in life, never trust your emotions lol. Love in marriage goes beyond those temporary emotions and becomes a deliberate choice to honor, respect, and support one another through the highs and lows of life. It’s about actively choosing to nurture and invest in the relationship, even when faced with challenges.
After years of marriage and a few children, that 1 Corinthians 13 definition of love can become a distant memory. Yeah, you have read the verse and could quote most of it by heart, but does it still apply after year one? YES! In fact, abiding by that definition is probably easiest in the earlier years of marriage but more important in the latter ones. Don’t forget, when you entered into the marriage, you chose to love. You vowed to love. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 are the terms you agreed to.
Love in Marriage Means Weathering Change Together
One of the most remarkable aspects of marriage is its ability to endure change. People change and evolve over time; it’s a natural part of life. However, the love that underpins a marriage remains steadfast. Marriage is a covenant, a sacred promise made between two people to journey through life together, no matter what. It is an acknowledgment that both individuals will grow and change, but the commitment to love and support each other remains unchanged.
Not only will you change as individuals, but so will your circumstances. This is especially true as you go through those 5 Stages of Married Life. When you met, you were living separate lives. Now that you are married, you share a life. You share kids, finances, a living space and the list goes on. As those things change, so does the potential for them to affect the marriage. The love in your marriage is the one thing that should not change.
The Power of Covenant
A covenant is more than a contract; it is a binding agreement that transcends the circumstances of the present. The Most High instituted marriage, and He is a covenant keeper. His inspired Word is written in two parts, the Old Testament or Covenant and the New Testament or Renewed Covenant. In marriage, the covenant signifies an unbreakable commitment to love, honor, and cherish one another. Unlike a contract, which can be broken when one party fails to meet its terms, a covenant persists even when circumstances change or individuals stumble. It provides a foundation of security and stability that empowers couples to navigate the challenges of life and grow stronger together.
Once again, we can see this example from our Father. Yah (God) made a covenant with His people Israel. Israel is his bride. God’s promises to Israel cannot be broken, no matter what she does. Israel rebelled against God time and time again in the Bible. In fact, the entire book of Hosea was written to display the relationship between Israel and Yah. However, God’s covenant with Israel cannot be broken. This is why The Most High instructs husbands to love their wives as He has loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
Cultivating Lasting Love in Marriage
While the covenant of marriage provides a strong foundation, it is essential to nurture and cultivate love continually. This involves effective communication, empathy, and a willingness to understand and support each other’s growth. By investing time and effort into the relationship, couples can deepen their love and create a lasting bond that withstands the test of time.
Open and honest communication is key. Communicate your needs to one another. Make it known when you are lacking attention or quality time. Extend grace and kindness to your spouse when they are being short with you due to stress. Apologize to one another when you fail to have patience. Encourage your husband when he is feeling down. Stop reminding him about those times he made a mistake. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Trust me, I know this takes practice. This is what love in marriage looks like.
Conclusion
Love in marriage is more than a fleeting feeling. It is a deliberate choice, a covenant that remains steadfast even as individuals and circumstances change. By embracing the power of this covenant, couples can forge a love that transcends emotions and endures through the ups and downs of life. It is through this understanding that we can truly appreciate the depth and beauty of love in marriage.
Remember, a successful marriage requires commitment, sacrifice, and ongoing effort. By choosing to love and honor your partner, even in the face of change, you can build a lasting and fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time.
May your love endure!
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