3 Reasons to Let Him Lead and How to Best Support Him

Look at the image at the head of this article. What do you see? I see a man that is determined. He does not know everything that lies ahead on the journey. However, he is confident that he will make it to the end. I see a MAN. There is nothing more attractive than a man who wants to take charge. A husband that is willing to lead, provide for, and protect his family is one that I would classify as a good husband.

In our society today, male leadership has taken a back seat to women’s empowerment. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not implying that there is anything wrong with a woman in leadership in the workplace. However, wives, when it comes to a Christian marriage, we must let him lead. Let’s talk about why we should do that and how it doesn’t mean giving up your own voice or opinions (in the second half below).

Why Let Him Lead?

The first question we should answer when it comes to letting our husband lead is “why”. I am sure this question has come to mind at some point or another. You may even be thinking that you could do a better job of leading. After all, you are more organized and pay closer attention to detail. Right? Well here are three reasons why I would caution against trying to “take the wheel”.

1. It Is God’s Order for the Family

There is no indication anywhere in the Bible that a wife should be over her husband. You just won’t find it. In fact, when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, God made this clear. He told Eve, “your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you,” (Genesis 3:16). As a result of the curse of sin, we live in a fallen world. This verse is telling us that in this current state, we will experience tension in marriage. I believe that this tension most often arises from not allowing the husband to lead.

What I don’t want us to confuse here is the belief that male headship is a result of the fall in the Garden. That is not true. We can see evidence throughout the Bible that God has ordained this position for men from the beginning. We see that Adam was created first and given authority in the Earth. Eve was created as his “help meet”. Additionally, 1 Corinthians 11:3 tells us that, “…the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man…” 1 Corinthians 11 goes on to say in verses 8 and 9 that “…the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” Scripture is clear. God intended male headship all along. The curse was conflict between husband and wife, but a man under Christ will not seek to oppress or suppress her. He will lead her with loving kindness.

2. You Will Have An Aligned Vision

Once you accept that it is God’s will for your husband to lead, under Christ, you will also accept his vision. A husband who seeks to live a life that resembles Christ’s life on the Earth will be in constant communication with the Father. When you allow your husband to take the lead, it shows that you have faith in his ability to hear from God and respect his decisions. If you believe that your husband is hearing from God, it will be easier for you to follow him and support his vision. You can have peace in knowing that the God who hears your prayers also, is the one leading your husband. The vision the Father gives your husband for leadership will be in your best interest as well. It will take into consideration your desires and purpose.

3. There Are Consequences When You Do Not Let Him Lead

Part of the reason God told wives to submit to their husband is so that we would have peace in our marriage. Sometimes in marriage, we as wives may feel the need to take over the leadership role for one reason or another. This action will inevitably lead to more stress for you and additional tension in the marriage.

Let’s say that you do not like the way things are going. Your husband has made some bad decisions, and you continue to bring it up. You feel like it would be better if you took over as decision maker. The trouble is, some husbands will throw their hands up and let you do it your way. Now, you feel like you are carrying to much. Or, in a separate but similar example, let’s say your husband just seems to have no drive or motivation. You decide to step in and help him by taking over his role as leader. He might be relieved to let you do that, but now you feel overwhelmed. You get the picture? You were not meant to carry the role of the wife and the husband. When you do, you feel overburdened, stressed, and short-tempered. Sound familiar?

Another consequence to not letting him lead, arises with the potential for competing visions. When you do not allow him to set the vision for the family, you run the risk of bringing confusion and getting nowhere. Imagine if cars were made with two steering wheels that could control the direction of the car–one wheel on the right and one on the left. That would be totally insane and completely dangerous. Not allowing him to lead is like a car with two steering wheels.

How To Support His Leadership

If you want to be a supportive wife, here’s what you can do!

It is important to remember that letting your husband lead doesn’t mean giving up your own voice or opinions.

1. Maintain Holiness. Make sure that you remain holy and consecrated before the Lord so that you can hear his voice. In 2 Kings 4:9-10, the Shunammite woman perceived in her spirit that something should be done to provide care for the prophet Elisha. The Bible says that this was a great or notable woman. What was so notable about her? She was a woman who feared God and had discernment. She used those attributes to present an idea to her husband, and he listened to her. As a result, they were blessed with a son. It is important to remember that letting your husband lead doesn’t mean giving up your own voice or opinions.
2. Be An Encourager. You should be your husband’s biggest cheerleader! Cheering him on will show him that you believe in him even in the moments when he doesn’t believe in himself. Leading a family is a big job. He needs to be reassured that he can do it. My husband regularly tells me how much he appreciates what I do for him and the kids. However, the number one thing he thanks me for is remaining by his side. In my previous article, I provided 3 powerful ways to encourage your husband. Go check it out!
3. Trust The Process. While your man is walking out that vision the Lord has given him, exercise patience as it plays out. Like I alluded to at the beginning, he may know the end of the journey, but he does not see all the obstacles that may come up along the way. God is also teaching your husband how to trust Him. You can be a supportive wife by not questioning his decisions when things don’t go the way either of you thought they would. Keep following him as he follows Christ.

If you enjoyed this article, make sure to give us a shout out on your social media platforms via the share buttons below, or by copying this link (https://princesslivingfree.com/let-him-lead/).

Love you sis!!