Throughout the Bible, we find inspiring stories of women who exemplify virtues and provide valuable lessons for us today. One such woman is Abigail, known for her wisdom, humility, and courage. What is interesting about Abigail is that she is relatable to women who may be married to an ungodly man. We know Nabal was ungodly because, in 1 Samuel 25:3, he is introduced as “harsh and evil in his doings”. As we read on in the chapter, Abigail herself even refers to her own husband as foolish (verse 25). However this article is not only for wives with unbelieving husbands. Any wife can learn lessons about biblical wifehood from Abigail.
In this post, we will explore the story of Abigail as documented in 1 Samuel 25. From her story, we will draw insights into biblical wifehood and discover how her example can impact our own marriages.
5 Lessons about Biblical Wifehood from Abigail
First, begin by reading the story of Abigail in 1 Samuel 25:1-44. Then, continue on to the five lessons below.
1. Displaying Wisdom and Prudence
Abigail’s story begins with her husband, Nabal, acting in a disrespectful and foolish manner towards David, who would later become king. However, Abigail’s response demonstrates wisdom and prudence. She recognized the danger and took action to prevent disaster. Abigail’s approach teaches us the importance of handling conflicts within a marriage with wisdom and prudence, seeking resolution rather than escalating tensions.
Take note here, not every disagreement or disappointment should result in an argument. Abigail had heard that her husband was disrespectful toward David, and she knew he would face a consequence for it. Instead of going to Nabal and giving him attitude about his attitude, she went straight into solution mode. He may have been foolish, but Abigail was still a faithful wife. In my opinion, she was also a Proverbs 31 woman who managed the affairs of her household well. While she may have been tempted, she did not just sit back and let her husband “get what was coming to him”. Do not let your husband’s foolishness breed bitterness in you.
2. Showing Respect and Honor
Abigail’s interaction with David reveals her deep respect for God’s anointed. Despite her husband’s actions, she honored Nabal while appealing to David’s mercy. Abigail’s example reminds us of the significance of respecting our husbands and honoring the divine order in marriage. It is through respect and honor that we foster a loving and harmonious relationship.
Be always mindful that you are responsible for obeying God no matter what anyone else is doing…including your husband. God was very clear in His word when He told wives to submit to their husbands and reverence/honor/respect him (Ephesians 5:22 and 5:33). We are not released from that instruction even in the presence of an ungodly husband. In fact 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 says the exact opposite. It states as follows, “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and he unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband…”
3. Exemplifying Humility and Servanthood
When faced with Nabal’s reckless behavior, Abigail chose to take responsibility, humbly acknowledging her husband’s wrongdoings. Additionally, she demonstrated servant-heartedness by providing for David’s men. Abigail’s humility and servanthood remind us that selflessness is a key component of biblical wifehood. By putting our spouse’s needs before our own, we foster a spirit of unity and sacrifice within our marriage.
These lessons about biblical wifehood from Abigail are not intended to make anyone feel guilty lol. However, it is a good opportunity to reflect. How easy would it have been for Abigail to think of herself in this situation. The Bible doesn’t say for sure, but if Nabal was indeed “harsh and evil in his doings”, he likely also mistreated Abigail. She may have been tempted to be selfish in that moment and consider what life would be like without him. However, instead Abigail chose to save her husband’s backside. She had done nothing wrong, but had to go issue an apology on behalf of a husband who probably did not value her. I have a wonderful husband, but if he were like Nabal…just WOW.
4. Lessons about Wifehood from Abigail: Embracing Courage and Initiative
Abigail’s courage shines through as she bravely confronts David and seeks forgiveness on behalf of her household. Her initiative to take action and prevent bloodshed demonstrates her strength of character. Abigail’s example encourages us to be courageous and proactive in addressing conflicts within our marriages, taking the initiative to seek resolution and reconciliation.
Despite his demeanor, Nabal was blessed to have a wife like Abigail. Her courage and initiative saved his life, for a time. This is actually a really great example of what submission could look like under an ungodly man. Abigail did not seek her husband’s permission to do what she did. In fact, she did not even tell him that she was going out to meet David. However, she plead with David to show mercy to her husband and was even willing to take the blame. She humbled herself even as a wife under a “foolish” and “worthless” man. There’s no way God will not honor and reward an obedient wife like this.
5. Trusting in God’s Faithfulness
Throughout her journey, Abigail exhibited unwavering trust in God’s justice and deliverance. Her reliance on God’s faithfulness sustained her in difficult circumstances. In our own marriages, trusting in God’s plans and seeking His guidance provides a solid foundation. By entrusting our relationships to Him, we can weather storms and grow in faith together.
This story offers us invaluable lessons in biblical wifehood from Abigail. Her wisdom, respect, humility, courage, and trust in God’s faithfulness serve as guideposts for our own marriages. As we embrace these virtues, we can create strong and flourishing relationships. Let us learn from Abigail’s example and apply these principles in our lives, nurturing marriages that reflect the love, grace, and wisdom found in God’s Word.
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Peace and blessing sis!
