You may have heard many women say that their wedding day was the happiest day of their life. From there, they went on to tell you that their honeymoon was pure bliss, absolutely magical! Maybe this was even your own experience as well. However, after the “honeymoon phase”, life began to set in. The joy in marriage you once felt began to slowly fade away. While, I cannot promise you a perfect marriage, I can help you find that joy again and help you hold onto it for a lifetime.
Happiness vs. Joy
First, let me say that fading of joy in marriage does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with your marriage. However, it may mean that you have misunderstood the meaning of joy. Joy and happiness are not the same thing, despite what the dictionary or thesaurus may tell you. Happiness is a feeling based on circumstances. It is reflected in the way you feel when things are going well in your life.
Joy, on the other hand, is one of the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23. Joy is one of the nine attributes (fruit) of God’s character. When you receive God’s Holy Spirit, you begin to manifest His fruit or character traits. Because joy comes from God, you can experience it even when you face challenges in life or in your marriage. Going on date nights with your husband or receiving flowers from him unexpectedly are good things that may make you feel happy. However, we can and should still have joy even when those things are not happening.
The Joy of the Lord Is Your Strength
Marriage is not easy. It takes patience and grace. Now, you and I both know that we need the strength of the Lord to show our husbands patience and grace at times! Nehemiah 8:10 tells us that, “…the joy of the Lord is your strength.” This simply means that we will receive strength when we activate the joy that comes from God.
For example, God gave us as wives clear instructions to submit to our husbands. When you submit to your husband in obedience to the Lord, God is pleased. You do it when you’re happy and when you’re not, when you feel like doing it and when you don’t. That is because your joy is not rooted in how you feel. It is just something that lives on the inside of you. In the same way, you can find joy in respecting your husband, in knowing that you are his glory (1 Corinthians 11:7), and in your role as a suitable companion or help meet (Genesis 2:18) . The more you are able to activate the joy on the inside, the stronger you and your marriage will be.
A Prayer for Joy in Marriage
Here is a prayer to help you on your journey to finding joy in marriage.
Father,
Thank you for Your joy and for reminding me that it is independent of what is happening around me. Help, me oh Lord, to regularly activate your joy on the inside of me to receive strength and to glorify you in my marriage. Help me to be joyful when things are going well and when they are not. Empower me by Your Holy Spirit to find joy despite what my husband may or may not be doing. Make me a joyful wife and strengthen my marriage as a result.
I pray that Your joy would be part of my lifestyle and would be evident to those around me. Let the joy that I have be infectious to others including my husband. Allow my joy to produce a happier home and to stir up a desire within my spouse to be a better husband. I pray that you would surround me with other joyful wives for support and encouragement, and that I would be the same for them.
In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
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May your marriage be blessed!
Truth!
Amen!🙌🏽