Everyone wants a happier marriage. Right?
Last week, I came across a panel on YouTube discussing the question of whether a wife should give up her career dreams to support her husband at home (i.e., taking care of kids and household responsibilities). The panelists included two women (both divorced) and two men (one married and one single). The two women adamantly argued that this should not be automatically expected of a wife. They proposed that the spouse who earned more income should stay home. The single man basically said that the wife should be willing to give up everything and stay home. The married man said the wife should only if she wanted to. (I suppose he suspected his wife could be watching lol.)
I honestly felt somewhat sad about how far Westernized thinking has taken us from the ways and standards of God. It is true that Christian marriages even have a higher divorce rate than non-Christian ones. Somewhere along the line, we have lost focus. However, I suggest that three simple mindset changes will go a long way towards a happier marriage.
1) Marriage is an Equal Partnership Not a Sole-Proprietorship
A husband and a wife work together to raise their children (if they have them) and build their empire. When marriage begins, individual dreams fade away and a new joint vision is born. Communicating and articulating that vision is crucial towards laying a solid foundation for the future empire. With a clear goal, and Christ at the center, each spouse will carry out their responsibilities and support one another. If the wife is home with the children all day while the husband is at work, he will come home ready to help out with the children while she prepares dinner. When the kids are asleep, she can work on her business from home to generate additional income, if she likes. (Thanks for reading my blog!) Simply stated, it is “give and take”.
2) Marriage Is Two Imperfect People Coming Together into Perfect Matrimony
The institution of marriage is perfect because it was created by God. Period. The two people in it, although created by God, were born into sin, and they are DEFINITELY not perfect. So, no matter how many times he may get on your nerves, neither of you are perfect. If we would just keep that in mind, we would be quicker to give our spouse grace instead of attitude lol. He would be more understanding instead of hurt or angry when we get short with him because we are running on very little sleep and have had a long day with the kids. Believe it or not, your children will learn from the interactions they see and treat others around them better as well.
3) Marriage is Not Work, But It Takes Work
We need to stop thinking of marriage as a job. For many of us, a job means giving up control of our time and our freedom while constantly trying to measure up to the standards of our superiors. It sounds awful when I put it like that doesn’t it? Instead, we should see marriage as something that takes work, or to say it another way, practice. It takes practice to hold your tongue instead of LETTING HIM HAVE IT for something stupid he did or said. It takes practice to show compassion when he talks about how tired he is. Let’s face it, you were woken up by the kids multiple times at night, broke up at least 50 fights during the day, washed clothes, made dinner, and helped the kids with homework. Say it slowly with me ladies, prac-tice (deep breath in, deep breath out).
I guarantee, these three simple mindset changes will lead to a happier marriage. Lord willing, you and your husband will have many years to put work into the partnership and build your empire. All while extending more and more grace to one another.
If you enjoyed this article, make sure to give us a shout out on your social media platforms by copying this link (https://princesslivingfree.com/happier-marriage/).
Be blessed sis!
