Typically, a father (or mother) walking a daughter down the isle is symbolic. It is an act symbolizing the transference of the role of “covering” or protector from the parents to the husband. With that understanding, should the mother and father of the bride have a more direct “say” in whom she marries? The rise in failed marriages raises new questions like this one. For example, should Christian parents reinstitute arranged marriages for their children? Would it help the marriage last?
Arranged marriages have a long history, and many cultures have practiced them for centuries. In some Christian communities, predetermined unions have been a traditional practice. It was believed that these marriages lead to stronger family relationships and greater stability. However, as the world becomes more modernized, many Christians question whether these types of marriages are still relevant or necessary. In this blog post, we will examine the pros and cons of arranged marriages. We will also explore whether or not Christian parents should reinstitute them for their children. I am going to share my personal thoughts on this topic with you. I hope you will too in the comments :).
Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriages
Pros
Proponents of arranged marriages argue that this practice has cultural and religious significance in some Christian communities. Many parents believe that they know their children better than anyone else and can make better decisions for them. Others simply feel that it is important to match their child with someone who was raised the same way. They argue that arranged marriages help to reduce the divorce rate and lead to stronger family relationships, as the couple has the support of both families.
Cons
Opponents of arranged marriages argue that love and romantic compatibility are essential components of a successful marriage. They also argue that arranged marriages can lead to abuse and coercion, limiting a person’s freedom and autonomy. This, and other factors, could result in resentment towards the parents who arranged the marriage. Additionally, they suggest that arranged marriages may not be suitable for everyone. Some people may prefer to choose their own partner based on their own preferences.
Christian Perspectives on Arranged Marriages
Many Christian communities have different perspectives on arranged marriages. Some believe that arranged marriages are necessary for the success of a marriage and that parents are the best people to make these decisions. Others argue that Christian values emphasize the importance of individual choice and consent in marriage. They suggest that arranged marriages may not be the best approach for all Christians and that individual choice should be respected.
Personally, I agree with the latter sentiments. God has given each of us free will. That should not be taken away. We should be very careful about trying to play God in anyone’s life. However, I do believe that parents should have a say in who their child marries and even make suggestions. The adult child that is getting married should absolutely seek the blessing of their parents before getting married. With that said, this is where things could get a little tricky. What if the adult child believes they have heard from the Lord about their selected spouse? What should they do if the parents do not agree with the decision?
I believe that the parents should voice their disagreement and reasons why. If the son or daughter still does not see it their way, the parents should permit their adult child to do what they say they heard from the Lord. Bring it to the Father in prayer and ask that His will would be done in your child’s life.
Alternatives to Arranged Marriages
For those who are opposed to arranged marriages, there are alternative approaches to finding a spouse in Christian communities. For example, courtship and matchmaking are alternative approaches to dating and marriage. These alternatives emphasize the importance of getting to know a potential partner before making a decision. The courtship or matchmaking approaches may provide more individual choice and control over the process of finding a suitable spouse.
If you have taken the time to properly build trust with your child through the seasons of motherhood, your opinion will carry great weight. They will hold your attitudes about who they marry in very high esteem. In fact, they may even seek your guidance which is even better. I am totally a proponent of getting to know your child’s potential spouse and their family. It is important to know what they believe about marriage and the roles of a wife or a husband. However, at the end of the day, I still believe that the choice should be theirs.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the debate over whether Christian parents should reinstitute arranged marriages for their children is a complex one. Each family has to decide what is the right fit for them. There are valid arguments both for and against arranged marriages, and there is no easy answer. Ultimately, the decision about whether to engage in arranged marriages should be left up to the individual and their family. In my opinion, it is important to consider the values of the Christian faith and to respect free will and consent when making decisions about marriage. By doing so, we can work towards building strong, healthy relationships and families that honor YAH’s plan for our lives.
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Peace and blessings sis!
